Author's Bio.

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Mushroom Montoya circumnavigated the globe aboard the USS Trippe DE1075 after killing soldiers, woman and children in Viet Nam. Now, as a shaman, he heals the planet one person at a time. Mushroom Montoya has an active shamanic healing practice in Long Beach, California and he teaches at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at Cal State Univ. Long Beach.

Friday, November 28, 2025

Alice's Restaurant

 I listen to Alice's restaurant every Thanksgiving.
After getting my draft notice in March 1971, I went to the induction center in Los Angeles where I was injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected, and selected. After filling out forms and trying to remember the addresses of every single house or apartment we ever lived in, the sergeant ordered us to take off our clothes. We walked through the halls and into the rooms dressed only in our underwear. They left no bodily orifice uninspected.
They didn't send me to the group W bench, they sent me to a room filled with school desks. The sergeant told us to sit down. He handed each of us a test, telling us to fill in the little circles next to the correct answer and to walk up and give him our test when we were done. He said he would be watching for cheaters.
It didn't take long. I wanted to get out of there and go home. So, I rushed through the questions. When I finished, I stood up and gave the sheet with my selection of multiple choice answers marked with black lead from the Number 2 pencils they loaned us to the sergeant who as sitting at his desk, eagle eyeing each one of us to make sure we weren't cheating, or drawing lewd pictures on the exam sheet.
I was the very first person to turn in my test.
The sergeant, didn't look at it. He handed it back to me and told me to go back to my desk and fill it out right.
I was a bit confused, for having been refused, and infused with confusion. I handed it back to him, telling him I did the best I could.
He harrumphed and snatched my test out of my hand. He placed it on his desk, looked at the test number in the top right hand corner of the sheet, and pulled out a perforated card from an open drawer near his boot. He placed that card over my test.
His eyes lit up. "Wow! You can be anything you want! Your draft number is 125. We'll see you in June."
His last words, "We'll see you in June," haunted me as I walked out of the induction center and drove home.
This is my true story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m57gzA2JCcM&list=RDm57gzA2JCcM&start_radio=1